Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Blog Therapy

My to-do list seems insurmountable. Just when I think I'm getting a handle on everything I find a list or remember a whole category of jobs.

And grief wearies me.

I'm thinking of a dear friend who's hurting so much right now. Another friend needs to come up with $40,000 to register her 2nd child in China (where their annual combined income is maybe a quarter of that). And petty family grievances on top of it all.

The watermelons are overtaken with weeds and producing no more fruit. The weed barriers in the garden walkways need to be dug up (from their THICK stand of weeds) and flipped over. Even the cowpeas are so infested with bugs I don't bother to pick them anymore. Everything I try to transplant dies despite 3x daily watering. I'm about to lose my entire herb garden if a good few days of rain doesn't come soon. My garage is plugged up with 2 broken lawn mowers and a broken weed wacker. Snakes are very much active (the farm girl had an extremely close run-in with a water moccasin a couple weeks ago in the middle of a public playground) so we had to buy a 3rd lawn mower because we couldn't risk the tall grass waiting for repairs to be made. We need a good load of compost added to the garden before fall planting but the trailer can't handle it. We have a welder friend working on it in his spare time but it likely won't be ready in time. 2 goats have worms that our dewormer isn't touching. Farmer Boy #1 has completely regressed in any potty-training ground we made. I think I've figured out why I'm still holding on to nearly every bit of baby weight though #3 is now 10 months old... but trying to eat as I need to requires so much time and preparation I'd rather just not eat.

And this feeling of being overwhelmed is completely debilitating. Taking a break doesn't help because I just goofed off all morning with my neighbor and I'm still staring at all my work with dread. I feel like I can't do anything right so why bother doing anything at all.

And this is why Jesus said to cast our burdens... does just dropping them work because I don't have the energy to throw anything?

And this is why He said to take up His yoke... He's not saying to do nothing, but rather do what He's asking of me, when He asks it of me and nothing more.

And this is why He says to think on whatever is good, noble, lovely and of good report and not dwell on the negative.

So... my asparagus beans are pumping. I get to blanch and freeze some soon or give them away if I don't want the work. The sheep are keeping the mowing needs down to every other week rather than every week for most areas. My kids all still take naps. My husband comes home every day saying, "How can I help?" I'm able to pray for my friends and my God is willing and able to provide for their every need, some through me but the rest through Himself and His Body. There have been no devastating storms. I can choose any day of the week to do laundry and know it will all get dried on the line. Our dog has kept all mischeivous vermin at bay and I sleep each night knowing our turkey poults are well guarded. Helen is rounding out well, her due date a bit over a month away. Neither of our pregnant goats have worms so I can use a different dewormer without fear of hurting a fetus. My children all love me and come to hug me when I'm crying. Farmer girl randomly stopped me in the garden this morning and asked if she could give me a hug... and I wasn't even crying. My little one is teething yet you wouldn't know it. Thanks to my neighbor and my mom I have an enormous stash of big boy pants for #2. And I have a neighbor who brews a fresh pot of coffee and treats me like a daughter. And her own daughter ran like mad catching a stray sheep yesterday when the tether broke while I was gone for a bit. We have AWESOME neighbors!

And now I'm going to take up His yoke. That means fold laundry, tidy the house, and get my brain decluttered. And that will probably require brain-numbing, digital entertainment for my kids and a friend's son who I'm watching later today, but praise God for Daniel Boone DVDs available at the local library.

Thanks for the talk. :->

5 comments:

  1. I'm just a lurker on your blog - but have you tried Ivermectin for your goats? It's labeled for horses, but safe for goats as well and will get about any worm they have! If you buy the horse labeled then the dosages goes really far. It can also be used on dogs as well and it's cheap!
    Hope things calm down for you.
    Blessings and peace.

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  2. Hello,
    It must be this intense heat we are having. My wife and I are feeling so overwhelmed also, your not alone. It seems like there is never enough time to make things the way they should be. But all you can do is try, live and love.

    We are going through some financial hardship, to add to it all. But we have love for each other and have a roof over our head, so that's all that matters. But it's hard sometimes, but we will get through it.

    We also have a 7 month old son and is teething. He is starting to get very demanding, but also starting to play by himself a little more - giving us a little more time to get things done around the house. I cant wait till the day when he can help me with my gardening chores :) I have been neglecting my garden the past few weeks, but I plan on changing that. I did alot of work on the garden last weekend, and I will finish up this weekend (crossing fingers).

    I wish you the best of luck! Let God be with you and your family!

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  3. Thank God we don't have to use our own strength and know-how to get through everything...

    ...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience - James 1:2-3
    I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. - Phil 4:13

    Praying God's peace for you, which passes all understanding and guards your heart and mind.

    And if you figure out how to deal with those weeds... let me know too!

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  4. What's up with the lawnmowers? Bryon is a small engine mechanic, he might be able to help. Need more information though... when you have a free minute, please call him. I'll email you his phone number. We're praying for you guys, keep smiling cus the Son is shining :)

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